Disclaimer: I did not really get into Stanford. Heck, I did not even apply nor take the GREs for that matter. Read the post to understand.
I was a professor’s assistant for about two years. We had collaborated on this research project that I would like to submit for a conference and I needed her guidance with data analysis. I used to go through her bajillion emails and made her read the important ones. Now assistantless, she hasn’t been responding to my emails even with subjects like PLEASE READ IMPORTANT IMPORTANT!!!!!!! I’M DYING.
I decided to get clever and make the title of this post the subject line. She is a truly caring teacher who wants nothing but her students to thrive so I knew she’d want to read this! I opened the text of the email with just kidding, but I got your attention!
Eureka! It worked. She emailed me back and even texted me! As a disclaimer, it’s not that she wants to ignore me – she’s just extremely busy and doesn’t have time to check her thousands of emails.
I was telling this story to people at work who are also on the research team. They gave me hugs and screamed congratulations before I got to say I did it as a joke to grab her attention. We laughed for quite a long time. Then I had to end it saying… errr actually I don’t even know if I want to go to graduate school next year anymore. They looked at me as if I’m not the real Lianne.
For those who met me this summer while I was traveling, I am a different person back home. While I’m traveling, I feel so free and open to any and all experiences. I am not on a tight schedule and I’m active and healthier. I learned more while traveling than I ever can from a book. Back home, I work 11 hours a day and don’t socialize very much. I am boring and my life can be mundane. I bring it upon myself but there is a lot of pressure to do well here. I am back into old habits. It’s difficult to say no and I have little time for myself.
It was my goal to go to grad school next year for the longest time but I don’t think I’ve experienced enough yet to make that commitment. I’ll get to graduate school eventually. It can wait another year or two, right? I love academia and I know I can succeed in graduate school. I want to funnel my passion and energy to make a difference in this world. I am incredible indecisive with what field I would like to pursue. Right now I am battling between child development (with a focus on adoption research) and school psychology (with a focus on gifted students). Lately, I have been favoring the latter, but we’ll see.
I have to keep in mind what is really important. School, work, and starting a family are stressed very much here. I think everyone needs to break away from the mold and really try to understand themselves before diving into something they may not have any passion for whatsoever. Their lives will be miserable. For me, I have recently discovered how necessary traveling is. Not only do I want to travel, but I want to volunteer as well as work abroad. I want to stay put and really be immersed in a culture for an extended period of time. My choice? Korea! Ding ding ding. How many times did I talk about this in my entries?
Good night everyone.